Body-related shame is widespread among women in our society. One-size-fits-all beauty standards make it hard not to have some stories about how our bodies are supposed to look. Many of us carry shame and guilt with us on a daily basis starting in young adolescence (or even earlier).
This all-too-common but not-really-surprising phenomenon leads to us buying into false narratives about what’s “normal,” questioning our worth, and dissociating from our bodies.
The Myth of A “Normal” Body
Here’s the thing no one talks about: everyone’s body is different (like really different). Your vulva looks different from mine. My breasts look different from yours. And you know what? That’s how it’s SUPPOSED to be. We are not meant to look the same as each other!
But there’s a pervasive idea that everyone’s body is the same. And if yours is different, then you’re the weird one.
We know that this is false. And striving to be “normal” in a world where there’s no such thing causes a lot of embarrassment and shame.
Carrying Shame Into Adulthood
Some of the most vulnerable years in our bodies occur in adolescence. The natural process of becoming more self-aware in middle school, paired with the changes of puberty, leaves most of us with lots of questions about our anatomy. These questions are only made more complicated by the images and beauty standards of our culture, plus the stories we tell ourselves about how we’re supposed to look and feel.
Unfortunately, this is also the time when many of us experience bad, embarrassing, or shameful interactions with our bodies. It only takes one bad interaction when you’re young for you to carry around shame for the rest of your life.
Diffusing The Shame
I’ve found that the best way to diffuse shame is by talking about it. When we all pretend we don’t experience anatomy-related insecurity and shame, it only reinforces the idea that everyone else has a “normal” body and doesn’t experience these feelings.
For me, my first memory of anatomy-related shame happened when my sister shamed me for my body looking different than hers. I carried the heavy weight of that shame for many years. And it only dissipated when I started talking to other women about it.
So my goal with Sacred Seeker is to create a space where it’s ok to talk about these issues. A space where it’s normal to explore our bodies and talk about our differences.
A Space for Exploration and Self-Love
I’ve never met a man who didn’t love his penis (even when I was under-impressed!). Why don’t women feel that way about their bodies?
Overcoming generations of anatomy-related stories and shame can feel like a herculean task. But Sacred Seeker is determined to help women take one step at a time in their journey toward re-connection and self-love.
Start your journey today by learning more about the resources here at Sacred Seeker.